• You call your corners on a cellular phone.
  • You’ve had to remove candle wax off your keyboard.
  • You charge your ritual tools- with a Visa.
  • You use a remote control in place of an athame.
  • You download your Book of Shadows.
  • You cast your circle in a chat room.
  • Your familiar is a mouse.
  • You attend ritual sky clad because it’s too much trouble to get dressed for a computer.
  • Your Yule ritual involves defragmentation.
  • Your altar cloth is a mouse pad.
  • Your cauldron is a crock-pot.
  • Your cone of power has a surge suppressor.
  • Your magical name, e-mail address, and on-line name are all the same.
  • If you end a circle with Ctl-Alt-Del.
  • Your athame has a SCSI interface.
  • Your OBE’s begin with a netsplit.
  • Your ritual robes conceal a pocket protector.
  • You calculate the phases of the moon with Windows ’98.
  • Your altar has a keyboard.
  • Your drawing down a circle is a POST (power on self test).
  • You do most of your correspondence by email and sign off with Blessed Be.
  • You don’t call it a ritual, you call it a Macro.
  • You have ever attached ribbons to a May Pole using a staple gun.
  • You invite the God and Goddess to come online.
  • You keep a Disk of Shadows (with encrypted backups).
  • You participate in online rituals more than you do FTF.
  • You refer to eclectic ritual as cross-platforming.
  • Your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group.
  • Your candles have batteries.
  • Your deities include Murphy and Gates.
  • Your drumming is done on a CD player (pre-recorded).
  • Your herbs are always mail-ordered (express, overnight).
  • Your idea of a great retreat has a Computer City, electricity, and a TV nearby.
  • Your incense is by Glade.
  • Your magic wand is a laser pointer.
  • Your magical writing is done in binary code or C++.
  • Your pentacle is made of computer chips.
  • Instead of asking what tradition someone comes from, you ask what operating system they run.
  • Your coven is spread over a 12,000 sq. mi. area.
  • Your Book of Shadows has a 6-digit version number.
  • You refer to deities using 3-letter acronyms (ODN, LKI, THR).
  • You do cord magick with ethernet.
  • You ritually down your server for Samhain.
  • When your quarter candles burn out, the UPS backup system kicks in.
  • Erecting the temple entails formatting more than 4 disks.
  • Casting the circle changes an (int) to a (float).
  • Your Star Trek screen-saver signals when your meditation period is over.
  • Passing the cakes and ale entails using a /me command.
  • Your search for truth involves regular expressions.
  • You draw down the moon using a light-pen.
  • Your tarot cards multi-task.
  • Your daemons collect news for you.
  • Your crystal ball has a horizontal-hold control.
  • You refer to solitary practice as a stand alone.
  • You tap into the collective unconscious using a web browser.
  • Your favorite deity has a homepage.
  • The address of your covenstead begins with http://
  • Your circle is a token ring


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