Below is a list of behaviors that are seen in people who abuse their partners. If a person has say three plus of these behaviors there is a strong potential for physical violence.
Intially the battererwill try to explain his or her behavior as signs of love and concern, but as time goes on, the behaviors become more severe and severe to dominate and control.
1 – Jealousy : At the beginning of a relationship the abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love. Jealously has nothing to do with love.
The abuser will question the partner about whom the partner talks to. There will accuse the partner of flirting. They may be jealous of time the partner spends with family, friends or children.
As the jealousy progresses they may start monitering you without your knowledge. They may refuse to let the partner go to work for fear the partner may meet someone or even do strange behaviors such as checking the car mileage or ask friends to watch.
2 – Controlling Behavior : At first the abuser will say this behavior is because they are concerned for the partners safety. The abuser will be angry if the partner is late coming back from the store or an appointment.
The abuser will question you closely about where you went, who you talked to. As this behavior gets worse the abuser may not let the partner make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church, etc.
The abuser may start to control all the money. The abuser may make the partner ask permission to leave the house or room.
3- Quick Involvement : Many abused people knew or dated their abusers for less than 6 months before they were married or living together. The abuser comes on strong and fast claiming giving you little chance to think. The abuser will pressure you to commit to the relationship in such a way that later you may feel very guilty if you want to slow down the involvement or break-off.
4-Unrealistic Expectations: Abusive people will expect their partner to meet all of their needs. They will expect you to be the perfect wife, husband, mother, father, lover, friend, etc.
They will say things like ” If you love me, I’m all you need – you are all I need”.
